PostSecret..

Okay, well I thought of this awhile ago ( some of you may have noticed I write thoughts for 3 days that I forget to post, all in one day )

Well I have a new obsession for post secret, I love how people express themselves on there, I read one that said "Last november, you convinced me not to commit suicide. I dont think Ill ever be able to repay you, Thank you.", it really got to me, because it was november.. and I was feeling VERY upset and confided in someone who will remain anonymous, but they convinced me not to do anything rash.. and I plan to give them a postcard that is almost like that one before I stop coming on here as much.. really, I thank you ALOT , every day .

For anyone who wants to go read post secret .. its www.postsecret.com , and is updated every sunday.

Ive sent ALOT of post cards in, but I dont think ya'll would be able to tell which ones ;)

Other post secret that I love it ..

"I realized the love of my life is my best friend, and Im okay with that" .. avery your awesome :]

"My friends and relatives think Im poor because I drive a clunker and own old appliances, truth is that I give 400K to charities" .. that guy is REALLY amazing, Im sure he saved many lives :]

"No one has the right to abuse you, for the first time in life I believe its not my fault" .. I hope one day my mom realizes that abuse is WRONG!

"I am terrified my dad will die before he can walk me down the isle" .. I dont even have a dad to walk me down the isle in the first place. FML.

this is a really good site .

Twas the night before christmas..

and rere felt really lonely.. okay, so Ive been listening to ALOT of music, and some of its really getting to me o_O Like , Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade.. about a guy that cant get over how he lost his girl.. well I guess its opposite for me.. I go threw guys like I do chips.. and , theres like NO guy thats right for me .. yes I think there AMAZING at the beginning.. but.. I always end up getting screwed over at the end of a relationship. -.-

Moving over old stuff from my facebook diary..

Today, Syd was being a bitch -as usual- and now Im left with 8 blocked contacts, a friend who's never coming back to MSN, and a , wow I dont even know how to describe the last one. But I dont get why the hell she cant just get along with people. Major. Bitch.

Today, I found out my mom's "single parent check" will go to me when Im 16... Ill get $400 a month.. I cant wait till Im 16.. Im running away.

Today, I was really starting to think abotu my future... what Im going to do, which university Im going to go to, it was really getting to me.. I cant pick something "hard" because I dont know how to succeed .. I think Ill be a lawyer.. but going to 7 years of law school isnt really appealing to me.. I think Ill be a garbage man. seriously.

Today, I realized that even when you have the best friend you can ever imagine, someone always tries to fuck it up. I hate you Ashley. Why cant you just leave her alone? stop fucking with my friends or Ill fuck with you. And I mean it.

Today, brandon broke up with me.. my friends tried to make me laugh.. but I cried.. they told jokes, but I didnt laugh.. I really thought he liked me.. 5th times I charm eh? not. I hate my life.

Today, I once again tried to stop cutting myself.. its not the easiest thing to do.. especially when the scars just remind you of it.. I dont think this is possible, alot of people just end up killing themselves after self injury.. Ive really thought about it, Im not ready to die, 13 years isnt enough, but If I wasnt so young, Im sure I would have killed myself by now.

Today, I thought over my "death plan" with ricky.. his seemed so peaceful why mine was so.. violent o_O, no Im not killing myself, but If I ever did.. well now I know how Id do it.. I thought about something peaceful.. but Im like, the type who goes out with a "BANG".. something that would make them regret things they did to me, or regret how they treated others.. or maybe something heroic that everyone would remember. I dont know.

Some of my fav quotes/poems..

A beautiful girl with gorgeous eyes, a hidden world full of hurt and lies.

When your start to miss me, remember your the one who let me go.

Just because her eyes dont tear - doesnt mean her heart doesnt cry. And just because she comes off strong doesnt mean theres nothing wrong.

Sometimes you have to run away, just to see who will follow you.

Know that everyone you love in your life will hurt you, but you have to decide who's worth the pain.

In live, never lose touch with you you are - in the end, thats all that matters.

She finally let go of her fake smile as the tears slowly rolled down her face, she whispered "I dont want to be me".

Her tongue has bite marks from all the things she didnt say

Im the girl who holds it all in and regrets it all later.

Keep your head up high because there are people who would kill to see you fall.

Walk a mile in my shoes, you'll fall the first step.

Force a smile, blink away the tears. Im suppose to be strong, suppose to have no fears. But Im finding it hard not to frown, Im such a strong person.. why am I breaking down?

The girl who seemed unbreakable is finally starting to break, the girl who seemed so strong is crumbing to the ground, the girl who always laughs it off is constantly crying, the girl who would never give up, finally quit trying.

Dont say you know me, when I dont even know myself.

It takes years to build up trust - and only seconds to destroy it.

Sometimes in order to move forward, some things must be left behind.

Its not always waht you say or do that hurt - its what you dont say and the things you try to hard that hurt the most.

Your perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card.
Your perfect little girl yelled at you last night.
Your perfect little girl talked back to you again.
Your perfect little girl painted her nails black.
Your perfect little girl lied to you all her life.
Your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep.
Your perfect little girl used to slit her wrists 'till she bled.
Your perfect little girl was broken by a boy.
Your perfect little girl doesn't go to church.
Your perfect little girl hates you.
Your perfect little girl has given up on life.
Your perfect little girl had a tantrum today.
Your perfect little girl wants to run away.
Your perfect little girl has no real friends.
Your perfect little girl thinks she's overweight.
Your perfect little girl hasn't let you dry her tears.
Your perfect little girl disobeys you.
Your perfect little girl hates the world.
Your perfect little girl is hated by the world.
Your perfect little girl says bad things about you.
Your perfect little girl tried to commit suicide.
Your perfect little girl has become a disgrace.
Your perfect little girl . . . isn't so perfect any more

Welcome..

Welcome to my "diary", if your reading this right now.. you must be one of the people I really trust enough to learn ALL the thoughts Rere has in the day.. Please do not give out this address.

Right now Im just going to move over my facebook diary to here.. so be patient..