Its cold. EXTREMELY COLD.

Okay, its freezing in Canada.. extremely cold and starting to snow.. Im SO moving to like - florida or hawaii or something .. :P

Post secret #2 + Seeing Kenzie again !

This weeks post secrets really didnt catch my attention.. but the "I forget to scan every 15th item or so.. merry christmas" did, that was really sweet of the person.. theres also one more that really really got my attention .. "the first time I caught a glimpse of my grandpas uncircumcised penis I thought someone had cut it in half" ... uumm , I thought that just meant it was fatter, not that theres 2? o_O

On a good note - Im soo happy Ill be seeing kenzie again on the 28th-1st :D!

-Sigh-

-Sigh-
Im suspended for 3 days for sticking up for my friend, and the people who were bullying her are like heros to the school staff right now ? WTF. No one will even let us tell our side of the story.

Today I actually..

had a pretty average day.. basketball practice, then cross country, and karate after school.. although I did go over and listen to Syd's mom talking about "her precious syd".. which did kind of down my mood.. but other then that my dad was pretty good :]

PostSecret..

Okay, well I thought of this awhile ago ( some of you may have noticed I write thoughts for 3 days that I forget to post, all in one day )

Well I have a new obsession for post secret, I love how people express themselves on there, I read one that said "Last november, you convinced me not to commit suicide. I dont think Ill ever be able to repay you, Thank you.", it really got to me, because it was november.. and I was feeling VERY upset and confided in someone who will remain anonymous, but they convinced me not to do anything rash.. and I plan to give them a postcard that is almost like that one before I stop coming on here as much.. really, I thank you ALOT , every day .

For anyone who wants to go read post secret .. its www.postsecret.com , and is updated every sunday.

Ive sent ALOT of post cards in, but I dont think ya'll would be able to tell which ones ;)

Other post secret that I love it ..

"I realized the love of my life is my best friend, and Im okay with that" .. avery your awesome :]

"My friends and relatives think Im poor because I drive a clunker and own old appliances, truth is that I give 400K to charities" .. that guy is REALLY amazing, Im sure he saved many lives :]

"No one has the right to abuse you, for the first time in life I believe its not my fault" .. I hope one day my mom realizes that abuse is WRONG!

"I am terrified my dad will die before he can walk me down the isle" .. I dont even have a dad to walk me down the isle in the first place. FML.

this is a really good site .

Twas the night before christmas..

and rere felt really lonely.. okay, so Ive been listening to ALOT of music, and some of its really getting to me o_O Like , Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade.. about a guy that cant get over how he lost his girl.. well I guess its opposite for me.. I go threw guys like I do chips.. and , theres like NO guy thats right for me .. yes I think there AMAZING at the beginning.. but.. I always end up getting screwed over at the end of a relationship. -.-

Moving over old stuff from my facebook diary..

Today, Syd was being a bitch -as usual- and now Im left with 8 blocked contacts, a friend who's never coming back to MSN, and a , wow I dont even know how to describe the last one. But I dont get why the hell she cant just get along with people. Major. Bitch.

Today, I found out my mom's "single parent check" will go to me when Im 16... Ill get $400 a month.. I cant wait till Im 16.. Im running away.

Today, I was really starting to think abotu my future... what Im going to do, which university Im going to go to, it was really getting to me.. I cant pick something "hard" because I dont know how to succeed .. I think Ill be a lawyer.. but going to 7 years of law school isnt really appealing to me.. I think Ill be a garbage man. seriously.

Today, I realized that even when you have the best friend you can ever imagine, someone always tries to fuck it up. I hate you Ashley. Why cant you just leave her alone? stop fucking with my friends or Ill fuck with you. And I mean it.

Today, brandon broke up with me.. my friends tried to make me laugh.. but I cried.. they told jokes, but I didnt laugh.. I really thought he liked me.. 5th times I charm eh? not. I hate my life.

Today, I once again tried to stop cutting myself.. its not the easiest thing to do.. especially when the scars just remind you of it.. I dont think this is possible, alot of people just end up killing themselves after self injury.. Ive really thought about it, Im not ready to die, 13 years isnt enough, but If I wasnt so young, Im sure I would have killed myself by now.

Today, I thought over my "death plan" with ricky.. his seemed so peaceful why mine was so.. violent o_O, no Im not killing myself, but If I ever did.. well now I know how Id do it.. I thought about something peaceful.. but Im like, the type who goes out with a "BANG".. something that would make them regret things they did to me, or regret how they treated others.. or maybe something heroic that everyone would remember. I dont know.